Background – I was substituting for half a day today so I had the
morning to putts around the house. The
hubby is also working from home today and we got talking about one of our kids
and a mistake he made. The conversations
grew to encompass mistakes that all of our kids have made and then finally
about kids and mistakes in general. We
concluded, in all our parenting wisdom, that you have to let kids make their
mistakes and take the consequences, even if it means that they end up failing
in certain areas. We agreed that this is
one of the hardest parts of parenting; but sheltering, rescuing and heading off
all the pain that bad decisions have to offer only puts
them at a disadvantage as they grow. It
was a good discussion, and we consoled each other about all the pain that was
sure to come if we chose to live by this creed.
It’s so difficult to watch your child suffer, especially when you know
they did it to themselves! My husband
and I were finished talking and silently turned back to our work, the hint of
doubt that we would actually be able to stick to our guns and watch our kids
fail hanging in the air.
S.C.O.U.T. – One hour later I plopped down to read the book
my son - the one who had made the mistake and spurred the conversation with my
husband - had given me. The book is
“Siddartha” by Herman Hesse. In the
first few pages I learn that Siddartha has a son. I thought absolutely nothing of this fact
until a few pages later when Siddartha’s friend begins to give him parenting
advice…
“Who protected
Siddartha the Samana from Samsara, from sin, greed and folly? Could his father’s piety, his teacher’s
exhortations, his own knowledge, his own seeking, protect him? Which father, which teacher could prevent him
from living his own life, from soiling himself with life, from loading himself
with sin, from swallowing the bitter drink himself, from finding his own
path? Do you think, my dear friend, that
anybody is spared this path? Perhaps
your little son, because you would like to see him spared sorrow and pain and
disillusionment? But if you were to die
ten times for him, you would not alter his destiny in the slightest.”
…a complete repeat of my conversation with my husband -
although I have to give Herman Hesse a few extra credit points for the
fancy-smancy language. Oh, how I would
love to be able to ask Siddartha a few questions myself. Where o’where would I begin?
Simply uncanny.
Simply uncanny. From more than one standpoint.
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog for a little while, and find it rather refreshing.
Sometimes, I too, struggle with decisions in life. And more often than not, I have found odd happenings that just cannot seem to be happenstance!
And, more than once I have found my answers here when searching for the "truth".
Simply uncanny? I think not.
Thank you for sharing your stories. They are often solutions to my problems. I often find peace in your words, and today's story is no exception. "You would not alter his destiny in the slightest," seem to be the exact words that I have been searching for. My weight has been lifted and my struggle now seems to have a meaning. Thank you for sharing! I look forward to more stories!
Thanks ShellBell for your insights and kind words :) I refuse to let the daily hub-bub blind me to the wonder that goes on right in front of each of every one of us! There is so much more to this existence than most people are recognizing!
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